Evil Wayne: Serials
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| The Secret Society of Sorority Satanists Evil Wayne: Serials |
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#06Beyond the door was a control room.There were about a hundred scantly dressed women. They operated all kinds of monitors and radar type stuff. It reminded me of the pictures of NASA if it were done by Playboy. Anyway, they pushed me up this staircase and into an office. There was a big picture window overlooking the control room. Then I noticed I wasn't alone. There was a desk with a swivel chair and a woman in the chair. She was about twenty-five. Pretty, fair-haired. "Have a seat," she said sweetly. I put my hand out, "No thanks, I'm not hungry." "They told me you were a wiseass." I shrugged. "We need something from you." "My social security number?" She smiled. It was cute, but I knew it was deceiving. I decided to play. "Say, what's all this for," I jerked a thumb out the window. She sat back and smiled again. Genuine this time. "Why it's all for world domination." I've heard of the ERA but this is ridiculous. #07She then seated me down, offered me coffee and donuts. I took the coffee."So," I said sipping the steaming brew. "You're the head bitch?" Oops. She smiled. "You could call me that. Now, I want you to tell me everything Mr Kyle told you." "Who?" "Mr Kyle of the CIA, of course." The man in the bed next to me. Now it was starting to make sense. The CIA must have been on to them. They think he told me everything before he died. Now what do I do? I thought. "Why should I tell you anything?" I'll bluff! "Because," she stood up, walked to the bookcase and pulled a book out. The wall slid away to reveal a dentist-type chair with various tools around it. Knives, torches, power saws. A torture chamber. She finished her sentence. "If you don't, I will kill you. Slowly." Glup. I hate when my bluff is called. #08As she sat me in the chair, I asked her her name.She looked at me funny and said, "Taya." "Gee, that's a nice name. You seem like a nice person, let's do lunch, like, well, now, eh?" I smiled. She sneered and said, "Don't try to be nice. It's too late. I hate it when people do that, it really burns me." "You know what really burns my ass?" I said. She didn't respond. "A flame about three feet high," I said. She clicked her mini-flamethrower to life. Talk about putting fantasy in to reality. And then... Lee and Kevin8 came to an abandoned railroad yard. There was only one totally rusted train. As Lee checked out the roundhouse, Kevin scanned the horizon for the train they had tried to follow. "No sign of it," he yelled, then looked skyward. "Must be one of those space trains." Lee, at the bottom of the roundhouse, turned, squinted and eye, winced his face and thought no one would care if he killed Kevin right now. #09"I'LL TALK!!! I'LL TALK!!!" I screamed as she brought the flame closer.Actually she had another three feet to go. So I'm a little anxious -- sue me. "Good," she replied and clicked the oversized Bic off. She then pulled up a chair and produced a tape recorder. "Now," she said as she seated her cute buns down. "I want you to speak slowly and clearly into her." She handed me the microphone. I couldn't resist. I stood up quick (they had forgotten to tie me down) and began to sing some Bob Seger. "Just take those old records off the shelf!"9 I sang and danced for couple of minutes till she pushed me against the wall near her torture tray. "I HATE BOB SEGER!" she shouted. I looked down at the tray. Among the knives and picks was a container marked: Sleeping Gas. I grabbed it and took a deep breath and broke it open. Taya collapsed. I laughed and accidentally breathed some in gas too. #10Kevin and Lee had searched the entire trainyard.Nothing. As the sun sank slowly into the west, they sat in the base of the roundhouse. "Nuts," Lee said, playing with one of his stars. "I didn't even get to use my weapons." Kevin sighed. "And we didn't find Wayne either." "Damn it!" Lee said and threw the star into a wooden base. There was a rumbling as a portion of the wall slid away. They jumped to their feet. "Hot damn!" Lee said. Kevin looked puzzled and said, "What? Hun? What is it?" Lee slapped Kevin again. "It's an elevator, you idiot! Come on!" They jumped in into the elevator. It was huge. Big enough for a train, Lee thought. There were two buttons, up and down. Lee punched down. "It's rescue time!" he said as he pulled out his throwing knives, butterfly knives, darts, chucks, shurikens, guns, rifles, bazookas, anti-aircraft guns, etc, etc,... "Golly, I don't have anything," Kevin said as they elevator descended. "Here," Lee said giving Kevin a small dart pistol. The elevator took twenty-seven minutes, when it opened there were five 4S members armed. But when you think about it, I feel a little sorry of the 4S guys. 8. I can't believe I didn't reference Kevin at his first appearance. Sorry about that. Kevin is my brother. At the time we used to play a lot of RPG games and it always seemed like Kevin wasn't paying that much attention (he was probably just bored). As a result he tended to do more ludicrous things. Like everyone else here, he's more of a caricature of that behavior than really like this. And yes, I'm being apologizing for it, so there. 9. See, Risky Business, Tom Cruise, Rebecca De Mornay, 1983. |
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