Evil Wayne: Serials
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| The Secret Society of Sorority Satanists Evil Wayne: Serials |
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#86"SHIT!" Kevin shouted."SHIT!" Lee shouted. There was the steady chatter of gunfire from the chopper (they were that close). Kevin banked a sharp right and the chopper swung around and gave pursuit. Lee could hear the bullets whizzing by, then heard a whoooosh --followed by a long smoke trail zooming by. "Shit, Kev! That was a missile!" Kevin turned towards Lee, smiling, "Yeah! Like the way I avoided it? Neato, eh?" Lee sat back. Aw crap, he thought. This is almost as bad as the way he drives. 39 #87"Kevin?""Yup!" "Are you gonna do anything? Soon?" Hold on, hold on. I'm just looking for the right opportunity." Gunfire smacked into the fuselage. "Ah, that's the sign." Kevin slammed the controls and the plane did a loop, up, around and headed straight down, the chopper close behind.40 He leveled the plane off at two feet above the water. "Ah, Kev?" "Yeah?" "You do have some kind of plan, right?" "Well... Sort of." Lee, in a panic, threw open his canopy and began to randomly throw grenades and fire shots at the chopper. #88The following is an overview of what happened next:Kevin, preoccupied with keeping the plane from bouncing off the ocean, was quite unaware of the approaching gunboat and supertanker behind it. At the last possible second, Kevin looked up and, in the midst of panic, pulled the stick up. But, at the same time --quite by accident-- launched the last two missiles. Both of which directly impacted the gunboat and "Blew the fuck out of them," to quote Lee. Meanwhile in the in rear, just as Kevin pulled up, Lee let off a burst from the pistol. One of these bullets received the precise trajectory in order to hit the pilot of the chopper right between the eyes. Thus, leaving no one to really fly the helicopter. With the Mustang and the gunboat no long obstructing its path, the helicopter, at full speed, flew directly into one of the boat moorings inside the supertanker. The resulting explosion was "Awesome!" to quote Kevin and Lee who spoke of such things in unison. #89"Excellent!" Kevin said in regards to the explosion."It's almost as if you meant it to happen that way," Lee replied. "What do you mean almost?" "Oh, yeah, you meant to do that." "Did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" Kevin turned back to look at Lee. "I did too!" "You did not," at which point Lee pointed a pistol at his face. Kevin frowned, "It's empty." "Is not." "Is too!" "Is not!" "Is too!" "Is not. I'll prove it." Lee pointed the weapon downward and pulled the trigger. It simply clicked. However at that same instance, there was rapid gunfire smacking the fuselage. "Guess it was loaded," Kevin said flatly. #90"That's not my gun!" Lee shouted, looking out the side. "It's that last chopper!"Kevin plopped back into his seat as the chopper roared by. "Where'd he go?" Kevin shouted, scanning the area. Lee shook his head, "Lost him." Then suddenly a glimpse of something. "BANK RIGHT! BANK RIGHT!" Kevin obeyed and a missile rocketed by. "HE'S COMING OUT OF THE SUN!" Lee shouted. Kevin banked around again, trying to get behind it. More gunfire and, unknown to them, the gas tank was hit in a few important areas. The chopper was on their tail.41 "Shit," Kevin said. "He's on us tight. I can't shake em" With that, Lee threw open the canopy, stood up and licked his finger to test the wind and then pulled out his throwing stars. With one eye winced shut, he estimated the distance and let them go. All of them smashed into the base of the propeller blades. Then all of the blades popped off and the chopper spun out of control into the sea. "YAHHOOO!!!" 39. As you can probably guess, Kevin was a terrible driver. There's something about they way he applied the breaks that made everyone think he was just noticing the red light/other car/orphan-and-nuns at the crosswalk at the last second. We used to fight for the back seat. 40. If we are to believe in Blue Thunder (Roy Scheider, Malcolm McDowell, 1983) helicopters are, in fact, able to do a loop. 41. Because everyone knows that helicopters are the best for pursuing flying aircraft. |
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