Evil Wayne: Serials
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| The Secret Society of Sorority Satanists Evil Wayne: Serials |
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#61I stood there and thought for a few seconds.I looked at Lee, still pacing and murmuring. "Lee!" He stopped. "Let me have the gun." He threw it at me, hardly thinking. I popped the clip. Full. Okay, maybe she wasn't lying. I look back at her. "Come on!" She was becoming quite impatient. "Okay guys, let's go!" I stepped into the corridor and followed Becky back towards Taya's office. I looked back and saw Kevin pulling Lee out of the cell. Lee looked like a zombie. "Where are we going," I asked, I did not wish to see that dentist chair again. "Topside, to the docks." Now I was beginning to smell smoke, thick and acrid. We turned down a corridor then up a flight of stairs, Kevin and Lee in tow. When she opened the level's door, a thick cloud of dark smoke poured out. We stepped in, coughing. I heard a distant explosion. Somewhere between that door and the exit, we lost Lee and Kevin. #62Thick smoke forced its way into my lungs.I gagged and choked. God, it was bad. It stung my eyes, but I had to keep them open. "Just a little further," Becky choked. "Come on guys," I said back, but there came no reply. I was becoming lightheaded. I think I was beginning to hallucinate. I say this because at one point the Smurfs were leading me out by a giant peach. (it seemed logical then). Next, an octopus wearing a tiara wrapped a tentacle around me and said, in Becky's voice, "Here -COUGH!- the door -COUGH!-" Bright sunlight cut into my eyes. This seemed to hurt more than the smoke. I sucked in fresh air (well, fresher than inside), still coughing. I fell to the ground, but Becky was pulling me up. "Come -COUGH!- on," she said, yanking me up. "I don't think we have much time." But I could already hear a deafening explosion. #63I stood up, my legs shaky and my ears ringing.Becky was dragging me across what looked like a wide dirt road. But I could see several small planes and choppers. An airfield. "Come on!" She pulled me down a small road that twisted. I looked back for Kevin and Lee. No sign. "Jack!" she shouted. She was down the dock untying a speed boat. "But my friends?" "The island is going to..." There was a tremendous blast and I was thrown off my feet. When I stood up I glanced back at the airfield. A P-51 Mustang28 (vintage, mind you) was roaring down the runway. The cockpit was open and a pair of unmistakable figures were throwing grenades at the ground troops. "YAHOOOO!!!" I heard from the plane roared into the sky. I ran down the dock and had to leap into the boat as Becky gunned it. #64Becky pretty much flew the boat around to the "Green" side and out to where we had left Captain Bob and the Sitting Duck.He was right where we had left him. "HIC- Nice to see ya folds -HIC- again," he said throwing the door open. A stale wind of alcohol met us. "Here," I said throwing the line to the boat so we could get in. He missed. I helped Becky in, then climbed aboard myself. "Fix the engine?" I said. He probably sat here drinking. "Yup." I wasn't surprised, he was probably lying. "Then let's go." He started up both engines, now I was surprised. Bob smiled. Then, in a titanic explosion, the entire island reduced itself to dust.29 Now Bob was surprised and I smiled. "Well, now that that's done with," I started. "Done?" Becky broke in. "It's not over yet, sweetie." Hey, that's my line. #65"What do you mean it's not over? We just pulverized the island.""Taya got away with most of the force. We probably only wasted about ten percent." Bob was bringing the plane up through the thick cloud that was once an island. "So, let the real CIA handle it." "No, you don't understand. She's gone to the ship. she can still fulfill most of the original plan." "Excuse me," Bob broke in. "But -HIC- just what's going -HIC- on?" "Well," I started. "Apparently, a large army of women have formed a rather well equipt attack force. They've also developed a weapon that destroys the brains of men only -- some kind of double-X chromosome deal. The plan is to activate this ray and then take over the planet. Keeping men around only in the zombie state."30 "But," Becky broke in. "The main firing mechanism wasn't on the island. That's only where we launched the relay satellites from. The real weapon is on a pseudo-oil tanker off the Caribbean. I sighed and looked at Bob. "Caribbean coming up," Bob tapped a few gauges, took a swig and changed course. 28. I have a real fondness for this aircraft. That and the B-25 Mitchell; two of the swankiest aircraft from WWII. If it's possible, I'll insert one or both into anything I write. 29. Is this anti-climatic or what? There should be an entire paragraph devoted to an island that's going up like a Roman candle. Not to mention completely unrealistic. If you bothered to click the link for Krakatau in the pervious episodes, you'll see that an exploding island will generate a massive tsunami. But we're sitting pretty just a short distance off shore. Yeah, right. Then again it worth remembering that space is limited on a postcard and I'm trying to get as much bang for my buck (har.de.har). 30. I said I wasn't going to apologize for this and I'm not. But on some level I am terribly disappointed this isn't more of a clever McGuffin. Feel free to pelt me with fruit the next time you see me. But, please, no pineapples, they have sharp edges. |
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