Good Wayne

NaNoWriCrisis

Sort of having this story crisis at the moment. I'm so bloody hating what I've written so far. I've got a good idea where it's going (because it's based on a much larger story I've been thinking of for the last 20 years I-kid-you-not) It not the story per se, it what I'm doing with it. I can't seem to get it out in a way that doesn't feel unnatural.

I know, that probably doesn't make much sense. My problem is that I feel I can tell this other story idea I have much better. I even wrote a quick 300 words of it last night. But I'm four days down and I'm already about 800 words behind on my first story as it is. If I scrap what I'm doing, I'll be in the hole by about 7,000 words. There's no way I can make that up. I'll be lucky to keep an 800 word gap from getting much bigger as it is.

Ugh. I guess I should continue with what I was doing for now. Force a square peg into the round hole and just force a new perspective on the whole thing. Part of the problem is my third-person narration sucks. I'm okay with first-person, that's easy (it how we all use and see the world anyway). But third person has so many other ancillary decisions to make. How much to I reveal? Can everyone see the same things? How about emotions? I'm sticking to one character at the moment, but I know I'll have to switch at some point to get thru the thrust of the story arc. I'm afraid of that too. That I've already lost focus and to jump from main character to main character feels like a train wreck.

Who am I kidding? It's already a train wreck.

You are worrying way too much for nanowrimo. It's about getting a rough first draft done and out the door, not about having something readable at the end.

No, it's more about voice, I think. I can't seem to find the right voice for the story and that's the part that screwing me up. I had no trouble last year because I used first-person and that was pretty much the same steaming pile that this is.

I was just more comfortable with it.

... As long as you're enjoying yourself doing it.

'Cause if you're not ... well, the idea of willingly spending my free time willingly doing something optional that I derive little to no pleasure out of, and in fact actually contributes to my stress level, all when I have only 50 (maybe) more years to pack in living enjoyment ... the idea just makes me crazy.

I say that if you're enjoying it, go on with it. If you're not, bail out and get on with doing things that leave you with a good and fulfilled feeling.