Good Wayne

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

FuckHeads

I don't usually like to rant about work in my blog. Mostly because I'm afraid it will somehow get back to them and then to me and I still have to work with some of these fuckheads.

I know karma, and she's a bitch like that. I also know that Steve reads this and if you say anything to anyone I will hunt you down and gang rape you before ripping your heart out and eating it.

I can't take it anymore.

One coworker is leaving. I'm mildly indifferent to this person. I wish he wasn't going, but only because he's competent and the workload is going to about to increase. Other than that, good luck, you know?

But the other one is a fuckhead, FuckHead #1. This is guy that's partially responsible for Jill leaving last year and getting her position replaced by FuckHead #2. The problem with FH#1 is that he's just a big dumb dog. He doesn't think. Period. But he means well, which is generally why I feel like shit when I start getting down on him.

So, our coworker is leaving and going to Japan. FH#1 goes out and gets him $100 US in Yen or something like that. He makes up a card and sends it around, asking everyone for $15 to cover it. Only thing is, he didn't bother asking people in advance. He just went and did it.

Maybe I'm being stingy, but $15 bucks is steep for a coworker you're never going to see again. Hell, I was pretty close with Jill and I didn't throw in that much. But now I'm left with feeling like a jerk if I don't or the general resentment if I do. I know I'm not the only one.

At his goodbye lunch yesterday I talked with a few others and they felt the same way. WTF is wrong with FH#1? I mean, it's a nice gesture, but are so socially retarded that you think everyone is just going to drop down and thing what a wonderful job you did?

While I'm at it, I might as well lay into FH#2. Besides being a fucking drama queen about every little thing, besides being on the cell phone all freakin day and doing whatever it is she does that isn't work for most of the day, if I have to hear one more God damn thing about her upcoming wedding I'm going to have to shove sharp pencils in my ears until I'm gushing blood.

I swear to God, I have never had any conversation with her that didn't somehow end up talking about her wedding. She manages to steer everything that way. Even with work related topics she ends up interjecting something about it. And she's not subtle. She thinks she is, but it's about as subtle as getting hit by a bus.

Yesterday she thought this leaving coworker should wear a tiara to make his last days special.You know the one she has for her wedding? It took all my might not to stab her with my fork.

Shut The Fuck Up.

Strangely this is almost the worst case sceanio I envisioned when Jill left. Jill was efficent and dependable; she was good at her job. For awhile I had to force her to take a full lunch hour, because she was constantly working. No worries with FH#2. Instead, they've hired FH#1's equivalent for her position. And, just like a bad joke, FH#1 and FH#2 are best buds now. Quite the opposite of her predecessor.

Fucking magnets to each other actually. The only difference is that FH#1 is still a big, dumb dog. FH#2 is sneaky. She talked shit about FH#1 (more drama queen bullshit, really) before discovering he'd listen to her endlessly rant about the wedding than me.

posted by Evil Wayne | 12:36 PM

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