my mental sieve...
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| Evil Wayne my mental sieve... |
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Tuesday, November 30, 2004 Final NaNo Word Count: 33,784 I didn't make it. In a short swell of delusion I did think I could make 50k for a while. But it was a mirage. A shimmering band of sliver and white on the horizon only to be met by the stark reality of so much unending desert ahead. There was too much in the way to that I should have never hoped to hit the 50k mark. I also took 8 days off over the course of the month where not a word was written. I was surprised to see the number so high, but the log is true. Ironically, I found weekends to be the most difficult for which to find time to write. It was easy to get talked into watching a movie instead or playing a game. Too many distractions when everyone home. On the flipside, work turned out to be one of the more productive places to write. I found an unused office where I took my lunch with my laptop and routinely churned out an average of 1200 word in just under an hour. Not too shabby, I think. It has made me value my lunch a little more. I used to just surf the web during that time and I tended to feel that I wasted my hour doing nothing. My two best day were still at home, but the work-count has surprised me. And that's where I'm at. The whole thing has surprised me in a way I can't exactly say I wasn't expecting, but am still very grateful to have actually experienced. I wrote more than I've ever written on any one story. And I'm not done. My novel has miles and miles to go before it gets anywhere near the end (and, to be honest, a lot of it probably just needs to be cut - there's quite a bit of fat on this baby) but, overall, this has been a fantastic, wonderful experience. I would do this again without thinking twice (and I will!). I can't tell you how much fun I had suppressing my Inner Editor and just writing without worrying about if I was creating plot hole or being vastly inconsistent or clearly just going out of my mind. It didn't matter. And it's made me see how foolish I have been with my writing up to this point. I've labored over the construction of sentences. Making sure it sounded right, or gave the perfect verb or adjective before moving on. How ridiculous! A light has turned on in my head and I see how much more I can accomplish by putting that jerk in a straightjacket. There's a time and place for the IE and now is not that time. I can, if I choose to, actually get to the stories that float around in my head. I can churn out a draft in a shorter time than I would have expected if I stop worrying about it so much. It is, of course, not that easy. I still lack real discipline. And the real world is very intrusive. But there's is still hope for me. I may never write anything good enough for publishing, but I'm okay with that. The way things had been going up to this point, these ideas, these stories, these complicated plots and characters were never likely to venture from outside my brain anyway. At least now, they have a shot at making it onto paper. So thank you Chris and Company, NaNoWriMo was exactly what I needed. Even though I didn't get to the finish line, I still got so much more out of this experience. Until next year. --------------------------- Working Title: Sethkyne_Blue Shower Scenes: 1.25 Restaurants Visited: 2 Funky Computers: 5 Word Count Breakdown: Linky Week 5's Crappy Novel Excerpt: I look at her, now her face is a series of light and dark areas. I can’t really see her eyes, but her lips are brightly lite by the lights at the front of the building. They’re nice, I think. Not too thin, not full or anything. Perfect. She’s still got a little gloss left on them, not much, but it shines against the light. I can feel my heart beat a little faster. "Yeah, me too." "I," she says leaning a little closer to me, "I’m not sure what I would do with out you." "You don’t always act like that, you know?" I say, but I can feel myself unconciously leaning her way. "I know, I’m pretty fucked up," Taxi says. This is stupid, I think. Or maybe I say it out loud. I don’t know, because I just know that I am waisting time. I move that last distance between us and bring my lips to hers. Her soft lips press against mine and she twists slightly, tilting her head. My lips part and I feel Taxi in my mouth. My free hand immediately goes to her shoulder and I feel her reciproacate pulling me closer. We kiss for a minute, maybe two and then she pulls me close and hugs me best she can from the awkward positions in the front of the jeep. "I’m really sorry," she says in my ear. It suddenly hits me that I should be dead. That someone really is trying to kill me and that Taxi is nervous about it. There’s something in her voice, a slight waver that I feel more than hear. And suddenly there’s a tightening in my gut and I feel myself flush. My eyes spike with tears and I clench down on my teeth to hold it back. No, no, no, I tell myself. Do not cry. I swallow hard and feel myself pull back from that edge. Keep it together, I think. Save it for later. But Taxi pulls back to look me in the eye and I can see her more clearly now. She’s only inches from my face and her big blue eyes are staring at me. They’re watery and some of her mascara has clumped to the sides. "I can’t loose you," she says, her voice cracking. Now I am going to loose it and fresh tears well up, distorting my vision. I feel them surging and my face feels warm, the tears feel hot as they roll down my cheeks. "I …," she starts to say, but there’s a bright light in our faces. We turn and it’s the van coming our way slowly, until ti pulls up beside us on Taxi’s side. Taxi quickly composes herself and wipes the tears away while thumbing the window which rolls down slower without the engine on. I turn to look out my window so I can clear up my own face without being seen. The front of my buildng, all dark and grey with the rain. A trash barrel on it’s side some garbage spilling out the top like it’s thrwoing up on the sidewalk. "Just follow me. As we get closer to the bridge, you should probably keep closer," I can hear Dizzy say. "If we get lucky, the sky will open up and nobody will give a shit about us." "Right," Taxi says, and the jeep’s engine comes to life. "Slow and steady wins the race," Dizzy says and I can hear the windows going up. "He’s got that guys uniform on," Taxy says. "What?" I say swinging my head back and trying to catch a look, but I only see the van moving off throught the rain covered windows. [Excerpt Has Not Been Proofed or Edited] posted by Evil Wayne | 11:17 PM 0 comments Tuesday, November 23, 2004 NaNo Word Count: 27,938 I'm disappointed that I won't make it. At this point I'd have to crank out 2,758 words a day, each day, simply to catch 50k. It won't happen. I can't seem to crank out more than 2,000 words in a day and I have Thanksgiving coming up. I'm still going to plod on with my crappy little novel, but it's somehow going to be less fun without that deadline. I'm do want to finish what I've started and if I stop I'm very likely to never finish. I have to work against that; my natural tendency to think I'm going to come back to it and then never do. I somehow convince myself that "in just another day or so" I'll get it done. On the actual story front, I've run into another one of those stalling techinques I seem to be so subconsciously prone to. The characters are at a point where a slightly large revelation is to be had and I find myself unable to write it. I keep throwing up roadblocks. First the Blue falls asleep and then we have a dream sequence (it's very tenuously connected to the plot - kind of like you have to squint-in-a-certain-light to see it). Then upon waking, I realize that Dizzy has had plenty of time to decode this and that and there really should be some information at this point. So I start giving it out, and then —Wham-O!— Blue needs coffee to continue. WTF? --------------------------- Working Title: Sethkyne_Blue Number of Days: 2 Dream Sequence: 1 Talking Watches: 3 Week 4's Crappy Novel Excerpt: "Oh yeah," Dizzy says, pulling back. "There’s probably millions of things this could be use to run. The lights at city hall or flush toliets in China." "Hmm," I say. "But," Dizzy says, pulling a finger up to shush me. "People don’t break into homes to upload code to run the government lighting." I stop. "Right. But ti doesn’t automatically mean it’s evil, does it? It could be some reasearch code for all we know." Dizzy looks at me, "Men do not commit murder to test R and D work, Blue. There’s something very wrong going on here." I have to agree, but my mind is still fuzzy. A few hours on Dizzy’s couch doesn’t actually qualify as rested. "Do you have any coffee?" "Duh," he says and Dizzy moves off to the kitchen. It takes Dizzy about fifteen minutes to make some coffee. Which is fine with me, Dizzy has access to some real Arabian blends. Not much, but he makes ti for me and I know it’s because he wants to do little things to impress me. I try not to let on too much, but the coffee is one thing that does get to me. I love the smell of real coffee. Imitation coffee is close, real close – some people really can’t tell the difference – but it’s not exactly right. I take in deep breaths of it, without being too obvious. I see Dizzy crack a half smile getting down some mugs and I realize I fail miserably. He puts the mugs on the counter that bisects the kitchen and the small table and chairs that make up a dining area. The whole room is only about ten feet wide. He pulls out the coffee pot from the brew housing and pours it into the cups, the scent gets more powerful very quickly. I walk over and sit at the table. It’s clean and Dizzy even has two placemats set down. The whole kitchen is clean. Dizzy brings the coffee around and puts down one in front of me and the other oppostie me where he sits in the chair. "Thank you," I say and my hands encircle the mug and bring it up to my face. I close my eyes and take a deep breath of the deep Arabian scent. Oh it’s like heaven and I savor it for a few seconds. I don’t really care to pretend that I don’t know Dizzy knows how much I love coffee. I open my eyes and he’s looking at me with a dumb smirk on his face. It is no serious, I know. Wordlessly, I put the mug to my lips and gently drag the first few, hot sips into my mouth where I let them linger on my tounge before swollowing it. Yes, it’s almost as sexual as that. "Do you think the code could be," Dizzy starts, but I stop him. "Ah ah," I say quickly. "I’m going to enjoy this cup of coffee before thinking another damn thing about what’s been going on." Dizzy’s eyebrows go up, "Okay." I close my eyes and repeat the same ritual. "You guys made coffee and weren’t going to tell me?" Taxi’s voice almost breaks it is so horse. I open my eyes and she’s standing behind Dizzy, her hair messed to one side. She’s wearing a tee shirt that she obvoiusly found on the floor in there. But that’s it, although she’s got her underwear on. "There’s plenty," Dizzy says getting up. "I’ll get it for you." "Okay," she says, "But I got to take a piss beforehand." Dizzy walks the three steps to the kitchen and Taxi scampers the four steps to the bathroom. Her white legs and bear feet – her cute ass clothed in some purple underwear. I take another sip from the coffee and think about her ass. It’s quite at the table. I can make out the hum of the computer equiptment and then Taxi taking a piss the water chinking. Dizzy comes around and puts a fresh mug on the table on the end, pulls up antoehr chair and sits down. "I have some eggs. Not real ones, but it’s food." "Yeah, I could eat," I say. There’s a flush of water and I can hear a sink running. "I’ll make up a big batch of scambled. It’s the only way to eat these things," Dizzy jokes and then stands up, headed for the kitchen.." [Excerpt Has Not Been Proofed or Edited] posted by Evil Wayne | 11:54 AM 0 comments Thursday, November 18, 2004 Bleck. Man, it’s been a heck of week. I'd say hell of week, but the winter's just starting and I don't really want to burn that phrase out... yet. Everyone’s getting sick; TheBoy™ the worst of all. Or maybe it’s because he’s two it seems so much worse. Turns out he did get conjunctivites on top of this chest cold. His eyes are all red, bloodshot and full of goop. They give you drops for that. Something simple and easy, right? Ever try to put something in the eye of a two year old? You might as well have a hot poker. And children are masters of contortions. No matter how well I tried to hold him, he would get away. You really need a straight jacket … no, that probably wouldn’t work either. TheBoy™ would put Houdini to shame. I was out both Monday and Tuesday, partly because of my own chest being filled with some kind of vile bug that has refused to leave. At least I get immunity to the superflu that’s going to decimate the planet soon. I think yesterday was the first day I felt like my body was getting the upper hand on this thing. It’s nothing really terrible, just tenacious. NaNo Word Count: 24,451 Of course, this has all blown up my count. I didn’t get anywhere near the writing done I should have and TheBoy™ kept me up all night last night. It’s really been rough this week and I have to really conceed that I won’t hit 50k like I was dreaming. I predict I’ll hit around 35k by the end of the month, which is still better than what I originally hoped for (which was 20-25k). I’m going to keep plugging away as best I can. And I do want to finish the story, even if it’s going in weird places I didn’t think it should go. --------------------------- Working Title: Sethkyne_Blue Checkpoints Passed Thru: 3 Horrible Fires: 1 Talking Watches: 1 Week 3’s Crappy Novel Excerpt: To which I reply the answer will be no, then No, then Fucking NO! We turn the bend that leads down the valley to Checkpoint Charlie and the radio cuts out from the white noise generator. For a few minutes there’s loud static coming from around us. I reach down and hit the radio with my finger turning it off. Now it’s quite in the jeep, except for the rain and the wipers. It’s rythmatic and it’s enough. I look in the backseat and Taxi is layed out, her legs crossed over and open to fit the length of the seat, her glasses on the floor. She has her arms up over her head and is cradleing her head, asleep. She looks very beautiful this way. More than peaceful, I think. Her soft, smooth face, even though she’s got some serious mascara working there, it looks pretty next to her dark, short hair cut in a bob. Oh Taxi, I think. We hit the Checkpoint and, while the guard at the gate is different, the guy with the goatee is still there. He looks so out of place, even though he’s not wearing anything special, his general demenor might as well be a bright yellow jumpsuit. It’s creepy, and he looks at the jeep for a few hard seconds. Mabye he’s got some augment that lets him see inside. I hear they’re doing that now. Biocustomizations. I’m sure Dizzy would know more or could know a lot more if I just ask, but I don’t feel like being Dizzy’s friend right now. I wake up Taxi long enough to get through the checkpoint. Going in is different than coming out. They don’t mind it as much. "You do realize that this sector is a Yellow Level 2, sir?" The guard repeats every time. "Yes," Dizzy replies neutrally. "Very well," he says and opens the gates. I hear a high whine and, off to my right the soldiers have lauched a drone. It’s a short cylinder that tapers fast to the rear, ending in two vertical fins. The front is a dome with lots of sensor that help the AI fly it. On the sides, two squat barrles that are the fans for hoving and flight. The whole thing is about a meter long and as it goes up, it spins around showing off it’s belly, an underslung projecile cannon. I’ve only seen a couple in since I moved into this zone. They’re beautful looking machines. Kind of like a big black fish, but real deadly. A month after moving in, there were some gang wars going on near the airport marketplace. This made the population nervous as some of them started sporting some automatic weapons. I didn’t see it, but I heard about it. The security forces got wind of a big rumble going down and at the appointed hour, several of these guppies swooped down and obliterated anything that moved. It wasn’t pretty. The whole area was quarentened for four or five days. They washed it all down pretty good, but they couldn’t be bothered to rip down the buildings. I think they wanted them to stay up. To let the people know what they are capable of. Two large steel hangers were filled with millions of tiny holes. When the sun would shine through, there were thousands of tiny rays of light. It was actually quite beatuful. Until it hit you. Thousands of tiny projectiles. There were about a dozen vehciles outside, parts of the metal were liquified they were shreded so badly. "Guppy?" Dizzy says, trying to get a look. "Yeah, I wonder if they’re looking for someone," I say. "Hey, I don’t think it’s that kind of crime, do you?" "No, I didn’t mean it like that. I’ve heard guppies at night zipping around. They either have more funding, or they’re looking for someone." "I go with the more funding. Did you notice they’re cutting back on all kinds of things lately?" I look away from the road and at Dizzy, "Why, what kind of stuff?" "Food mostly. But some of the electonics I deal with are getting scares. Recycler can’t give me a straight answer on that one. But it could be a build up going on somewhere." I sigh, "What build up?" "They could be getting ready to attack," he says ominoously. "I don’t buy it. I can’t see how we can sustain another long conflict. This country is already tetering on the edge, that would just push it over into oblivian." "I don’t know, stranger things have happened. After the assassination of..." Taxi cut in, "Will you shut up. Computers, politics, conspircies," she clutches the sides of her head like she’s trying to keep it from exploding, "Why the hell do I hang out with you guys?" "We’re fun and lovely," Dizzy replies in that mocking voice. "Sexy too," I add. "Oh yes, quite sexy," he says. Taxi rolls her eyes, "Yeah, you guys are sooo sexy." [Excerpt Has Not Been Proofed or Edited. So there. :P] posted by Evil Wayne | 11:36 PM 0 comments Monday, November 15, 2004 It's White and Cold; It's an Ex-Girlfriend... *Rimshot* So it snowed on Friday night. I could not believe they were calling for snow this early. Not only that, but it snowed a lot for early November. We had to have about three or five inches out there. More in the back yard. I went around Saturday morning and snapped a bunch of images. It totally screwed me, because I really was going to get to those damned leaves this time. 
TheBoy™ has come down with a cold. It's the same hacking I've been doing for the past week without getting better. Which is bothersome - aren't you supposed to get better after a few days? I've felt like total crap all weekend and with TheBoy™ seemingly worse today, I just had to take some time. On top of it all, he looks like he might have conjunctivitis. It's one of those things that once you start looking up symptoms, you begin to feel like you've got it too. My eyes are gonna be red and puffy alright. I keep washing them with straight bleach that's bound to happen... I didn't feel up to driving out for a meeting tonight either and it's really my only excuse to visit the Lego Store. Besides any goodies that might be found, I really want an Advent Calander this year. Speaking of Christmas, we've decorated a bit more, but the best was breaking out the Christmas music. I've got the CD player packed with our collection (a whopping 12 albums - 15 if you count the 3 Bob Rivers stupid stuff) and have let it run on random a few times. Oh yeah, I'm totatlly fucking everything up this year! NaNo Word Count: 19,216 Man, I can't get anything done on the weekends. I wrote a like a crappy 1300 words over three days. I was catching up on my word debt. On Friday, I was down to about 3,800, but now I'm back to 5,800. Man, I had a real chance to catch it and it's slipping through my working-for-the-devil idle hands. I'm starting to come out of the delusional state I was in, where I thought I might just manage to squeak out 50k in time. So that's Denial. What's next? Bargaining? I can't remember. The plot is starting to take shape. What shape that may be is still uncertain, but it's slowly forming and while I didn't originally envision it all happening in one night, it certainly seems determined to stay there. I should have an excerpt in the next couple of days. I have to choose one that doesn't have any naked lesbians and that's hard to do at the moment. --------------------------- Working Title: Sethkyne_Blue Lesbian Encounters: 1.50 Worried Glances: 27 References to Rain: 250+ Body Count: 2 (1 implied) posted by Evil Wayne | 11:05 PM 0 comments Friday, November 12, 2004 Last Letters Home HBO has a short film, Last Letters Home, Voices of American Troops from the Battlefields of Iraq. It is really not much more than the families reading these letters and some images. The letters soldiers wrote to their families, most of them not knowing it would be the last one. They were interviewing the filmmaker on NPR on my way home and just listening to him, I knew I had to watch this, and it premiered last night. This was just about one of the most gut-wrenching things I've seen in a long time. It's extremely powerful and moving. And, frankly, it hasn't gone away. If you have HBO, or know some one who does and can tape, it is well worth watching. But I'm not kidding about how rough it gets. Tine couldn't sit still at points and there were more than enough disparaging remarks about the situation and our current leadership. I should probably be thankful that TiVo's been screwing up lately and cut the last few minutes off. The last letter was particularly grueling. posted by Evil Wayne | 10:25 AM 0 comments Thursday, November 11, 2004 NaNo Word Count: 15,885 Had a good day today, I hammered out 1323 at lunch and when I got home, everyone was out at the mall, so I plunked down in the new room with a big ol' comfy chair and hammered out another 1546 (yes, I'm actually keeping track of what I do and when and yes, it's anal - oh yeah...). So that makes it 2869, my second best day to date (the Nov 9th is still the tops with a 3659 total). It also means I'm closing the gap. To be completely on-track, I should be up around 18,337. That means I'm only down by 2452 as of today. As long as keep going, I should be fine. But I'll admit that this section I'm working on is a part I initially envisioned when I started this whole thing. I know of only two more scenes that I'm aware of from the get-go. I had three and this was one of them. Hence it came out quick and easy, although it does sometimes want to take a different course or I let it go off on a tangent when I'm writing. The next few parts are probably going to slowly get much harder. It's difficult, sometimes, to actually make things happen. I sometimes feel there should be explanations or at least an obvious reason why something is not being noticed, or how a character can get away with this and that... I think it's been holding me back for some time. The Inner Editor (IE) in me is always reevaluation what angle I'm telling a story at, and how or why this has to be. When in reality, I should just shut up and plod on, worry about it later. If nothing else, I hope this feeling of just writing and leaving the details for later, stays with me. I'm also trying to stay committed to two techniques here: 1. I'm refusing to go back and read the story. When I open my laptop to start writing, I only read a paragraph or two to reorient myself and then I just start in again. This keeps me from going over it and over it and editing it again and again. The downside is I'm probably creating plot holes Hannibal could drive elephants through. Do the kids still use Hannibal like that? Or do people only know the Anthony Hopkins character? 2. Nobody can read it. And I mean it this time. I don't mind posting an excerpt every now and then (and I'm probably due for one soon), but there's this thing that I do that once I tell you what it's about - in detail - I don't find I'm motivated to finish anything. So far, despite it being crapariffic, it's still my little baby, and the only way to nurture it's shitty soul, is to hide it away from everyone. Here's hoping I can knock out some serious work this weekend, because I know I'm going to loose next Sunday (Lego Train Show in Providence) and Turkey Day 2004 will be another washout. (So, that means I have to make up 3334 for those days and the 2452 that I'm currently in debt for a grand total of 5786 - Sheesh, obsess much?) --------------------------- Working Title: Sethkyne_Blue Lesbian Encounters: 1.50 Plot Holes I Know About: 3 Personal Appearences: 2 Body Count: 1 posted by Evil Wayne | 11:48 PM 0 comments Wednesday, November 10, 2004 NaNo Word Count: 11420 I got another 1100 words out at lunch putting my total up to 11,420. I was pretty happy to break 10k last night and it came up quicker than I expected. I'm starting to like the process. Not the story, mind you, but the process. I actually feel like I'm getting something accomplished. I'm liking it, a lot. Too bad the story blows the mighty chunks of tuna and half eaten baby seal, so badly. This is still tough, but it doesn't seem impossible. I just wish I could spend more time writing at that right time of day, when I'm alert and feeling in the groove. Right after morning coffee is done (11 AM-ish). It's tough at night (although I did my personal best last night; 2200 words in about 90 minutes). And today wasn't easy to get started. Just as I started to feel like it was coming, I noticed time was short. I have my characters stuck at a Mexican restaurant there's some more of the plot coming at this point. Strangely, I keep finding ways to avoid it. They sit, they chat and it should come out here. But then the waitress shows up. Then the drinks, then the food. It's like I can't let this part be revealed and it's not like it's an exposition or anything. It's just a point that moves the story along. I appear to be stalling. Or maybe I just want them to finish the meal. The main character (MC) has been hungry since page four. I think in the rewrite she should eat something somewhere along the way, because I have this feeling that so much time has passed she should have fallen into some hypoglycemic shock by now. If there is a rewrite. I might just set it on fire when I'm done. Which will be hard on the laptop. --------------------------- Working Title: Sethkyne_Blue Lesbian Encounters: .75 Mexicans: 2 Elated Highs: 2 Crushing Lows: 18 Gmail I've also changed me email to use my gmail account. I never use it, but I also never use my evilwayne accounts. It's really too much of a hassle because they're set up on my laptop, at least with gmail I can use any internet connection to check it. But if you're already talking to me via one of the plethora of email accounts I have, then just stick with what works. posted by Evil Wayne | 3:13 PM 0 comments Tuesday, November 09, 2004 NaNo Word Count: 8013 I'm still behind by around 7500 words, but I've been doing better. Especially at work. Except for my initial burst, I have done more writing at work on my lunch hour than I've done anywhere else. It's still not enough to cover the days worth, not to mention making a dent in catching up, but it is the bulk of it. I do a few hundred words at night and that at least catches the day. This is the second week and I've already recalculated what I have to do daily to catch up to 50k. If I managed to crank out 2100 a day, I can hit 50k by the 30th. Like I keep saying, I don't expect to finish, but I do think it's realistic to say I'll get at least halfway there. Still don't like this story much. It's not really going where I want it to go, but I don't know what that means. --------------------------------- Working Title: Sethkyne_Blue Characters: 3.5 Plots: 2 Riot Police Mentions: 14 Panic Attacks: 3 Crappy Novel Excerpt # 2: As I move to the phone, I feel the tension in my neck and shoulder blades pull at my body. Sucky. “Hello?” “Hey hoochie!” “Hey Tax,” “You still plowing away at your freaky job, or are you going to come outside today?” “I do need more coffee. And some food, I’m starving now that I think about it.” “Why do you need to think about it?” “Didn’t you just yell at me for my lame jokes?” I shoot back. “Haw!” She snorts. “You love it.” I feel a grin break out on my face. Maybe I flush, “Yup, only you Tax.” “Well, we’re close by, we could be there in twenty minutes?” That last part gets soft as she obviously asking whos she’s with than me. I hear a light, “Yeah, that’s about right.” It’s Dizzy’s voice. “Twenty,” she says back at me. “Just you and Diz?” “Hell yeah baby, you expecting the president?” “No, I wouldn’t go near the fucker.” “Yeah, I know…” There’s some commotion on her end. “Sorry hoochie, coming up on Checkpoint Charlie, gotta go. See you in bit.” Taxi disconnects before I can say anything. Or maybe the phone is cut off by the white-noise generator at Checkpoint Charlie, a police barricade at the parameter. posted by Evil Wayne | 1:45 PM 0 comments Monday, November 08, 2004 Agrhgds.... Well, I got so much less accomplished this weekend. The only thing that went further than I meant to was an attic run. This year, we've decided to act like the consumer whores we know and love and start decorating for Christmas now. That's right, I'm so sick of bringing everything down after Thanksgiving and taking a mad-cap weekend decorating everything in site, only to take it all down a month later. We have lights that we string around the house and it's a royal pain to get them up there and working. Frankly, it pisses me off. So this year, we're going to be fully decorated before the holidays are even close. Just like the malls teach us. I'm busting out the Chrismas music too. So by December 26th one of two things will happen. 1. We'll be gun ho to take it all down and I won't have that "cheated" feeling I get from spending my weekends during the holidays putting up Frosty, Santa and a snow village from freakin' Hell instead of getting drunk. or 2. There will be a wild shooting spree, shot in the tune of Jingle Bells. So, I ended up in the attic for a good chunk of Sunday morning and some how ended up clearing out five old bins of clothing. Some of it hopeless out of date (not to mention size). Which gives the attic a nice open, roomy feel now. Of course, my bedroom now has that, cramped, boxy, walls-are-closing-in-on-me-and-we're-all-gonna-die feel. We've got some stuff up already so it should make for an interesting holiday season this year. Gonna pick up a Lego Advant Calander at the first chance so there can be tiny little bits of Lego everywhere this year. NaNo Word Count: 6081 I did 1399 words today at lunch and the story is sucking so badly that it's creating a vortex of pain and doom. But, I almost don't give a shit. I'm behind by more than 7500 words, mostly because I got nothing done this weekend. I did manage to write about 150 words, but I think I'm being gracious with that estimate. I just can't get out of my own damn way sometimes. I burned most of Saturday night with a mild headache which was excuse enough to play something akin to Mighty Flashing Sezuire Robots... okay, not that bad, but I'm a fool for sure. We watch Final Destination 2 and it was just about the stupidest-thing-with-a-really-cool-multi-car-wreck since CHiPs left the airwaves. I really like the notion that death would use all these "coinidences" to do you in. At the same time, I hated it when death actually manipulated the environment to cause something to happen. It was like the movie couldn't decide what it wanted to be. Seemingly random-Rube-Goldberg-series of events that got you killed, or an in-your-face setup of events that got you killed. In the end, it was so stupid it was just funny, and I really hope there's a Final Destination 3. And I didn't work on the Horror game stuff, again even though I see Sullivan keeps posting stuff across LUGNET. Which I don't go looking for, I just backtrack it throught the website counter's referral tab. Someone has to stop that boy before he destroys us all... whatever that means. Okay, okay... I'm working on it. :P I hope he realizes that there has to be another major photography day for the final DVD video. And that it won't happen until after the new year. Well, I'm hoping he'll read that and then I won't have to feel funny telling him in person or anything. posted by Evil Wayne | 5:35 PM 0 comments Friday, November 05, 2004 Fun With 'Shop I got these in an email today, so I'm not sure who gets the credit.  
0 comments Wednesday, November 03, 2004 Fear and Loathing in America, Part II For the love of God, this country has gone out of it's fucking mind. I can't even being to express the range of emotion I feel. Okay, that's a lie - It's up from insane rage to deep depression. I'm not kidding, I'm all over the fucking spectrum and I don't see an end in sight. After I heard that Kerry conceded, I've pretty much switched off all news. I can't listen to it. I can't hear how happy dipshit is - I've had this dull buzz in the back of my head all day. I'm really having some mental breaks trying to describe it. Mostly because I can't seem to dwell on it for too long without feeling the crushing need to strip naked, bury myself in the closet, curled in a fetal position, sucking my thumb and simply waiting for 2008. I can't believe the direction this country has chosen for itself. That so many people have disregarded everything that monkey has said and done. ... God I can't even think straight. I'll quote an on-line friend, Dan: "I simply can't get my head around the fact that roughly half the country is either so uninformed or so willing to overlook the fact that Bush is systematically destroying this country that they will proudly re-elect the worst president in the history of the United States. The irony is that their votes, in my opinion, came down to the war, which was based on a lie and which any rational person can see is a disaster, and to terrorism, which occured in states that Bush DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING CARRY. The most spectacularly horrifying attack, at the World Trade Center, happened in a state that Bush lost by 65%, for fuck's sake. "I have always had a lot of contempt for pretty much everyone, but the re-election of George W. Bush signifies to me that I was actually giving people too much credit." So I'm all done. I can't deal right now, so I'm out. I've got other things to try to preoccupy myself with because if I start thinking about it again, I really am headed for the closet. FUCK! posted by Evil Wayne | 10:03 PM 1 comments Tuesday, November 02, 2004 Exercising Some Constitutionally Protected Rights Tine and I voted this morning. The traffic around the school was terrible, but strangely, the parking lot was only lightly filled. Which, I note here in my informal study: Police who direct traffic, tend to make it worse. I did my duty and cast my ballot to get that monkey out of office. That's right, screw the secret ballot. We need ot get Dubya outta there, for the love of God and America. Seriously, the country's future is in peril with that guy at the wheel. Worst. President. Ever. If you haven't voted, for the love of God get down there and cast your ballot. This is it people. You know how you always wanted to be part of something important? Make a difference in the world for the better? Now is your big chance. Go vote. Unless you're a Republican. Then please drink the Kool-Aid. NaNo Word Count: 2216 Well, I banged out about 350 words over lunch. But I had to delete a paragraph and half from last night (about 60 words), so I got a net gain of 290 words. Not too bad, when you figure I had an hour and I ate, as well as surfed the forums for about half that time. I had printed out what I wrote from last night and read it over a couple of times. I don't know about you, but sometimes when I'm reading something, I try to see where things are going or guess what detail might be worth focusing on. It helped somewhat. I also started a new document to brainstorm some ideas of what the characters are like and to help focus the so-called plot. I don't know how much more I'll get in today. The election night coverage, especially John Steward, is a must-watch. Let us pray it breaks the way we want, no, the way we, America and the world, need it to. Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride. -------------------------------- Working Title: sethkyne_blue Words Today: 290 Characters: 3 Plots: 0.5 Paragraphs Concerning Coffee: 8 posted by Evil Wayne | 2:10 PM 0 comments Monday, November 01, 2004 NaNo Word Count: 1926 Now, I'm thinking of posting excerpts from this monumental piece of crap. I'm not too worried about grammar, punctuation or clarity of English at this point. If I continue to post quotes, hopefully, they won't all be shitariffic, but I ask for a tad bit of leeway, this is, after all, ambush writing. I will say that some of it's going okay, thus far. I got a chunk of it out that I was quite happy with; I feel like they’re tiny holes in the side of ship. Trace amounts of light filter in, but it’s the cold that actually flows through those holes, not water. It pools to the ground near the stone and steel walls filling up the room when the heat refuses to work properly. The whole room is like that. Patches of cold air that slowly swirls in the deeper parts of the room. I can come across it in my bare feet if I’m not careful. Like a stepping in a puddle, it takes me by surprise to feel how cold it can really get over there. Winter has not been pleasant this year. But then it took a turn for the worse. Probably because of my complete lack of Plot! that I just futz around with her in the kitchen. I don't want to do any rewrites, but I'm thinking that I really should trash the last two paragraphs and go from there. I got crap like: All is not well in my brain, as you can see. On the upside, I bought Ray Lynch's Deep Breakfast, a new age album I had about 18 years ago when I was churning out mega-crap, in the real delusion I could be a writer (but at least I wasn't cynical). It had a nice warm fuzzy feeling listening to it while trying to hammer out a few words. I'm probably just getting a cold. ----------------------------------- Working Title: sethkyne_blue Words: 1926 Characters: 1 Plots: -1 Panic Attacks: 0.5 posted by Evil Wayne | 11:20 PM 0 comments NaNo Word Count: 0 I haven't written a damn thing yet, but -in keeping with the spirit of the NaNo- I really wouldn't have had a chance. Not starting at midnight means having to wait until I get home and the house is settled down for the night (i.e., TheBoy™ is in bed). Worse yet, I thought I knew what I was going to write, then several other stories surfaced from the muddy rivers of my brain to demand consideration. This led me to talking about it quite a bit yesterday to Tine. She had that deer-in-headlights look when I was halfway through the second story synopsis. In her defense, I have a nasty habit of telling things out of sequence, forcing me to go back to an earlier part so a later segement makes sense. It has the opposite affect, further confusing it. But it was total overload by the middle of yesterday. I'm sure she would have easily stabbed me through the heart if I hadn't shut-up any later. By the end of day last night, I had no less than four potentials and no idea what I should do next. I've been dwelling on it most of the day and I've finally settled on one. It's not going to be the greatest - it's not even the most fleshed out. In fact, of all the stories, this one I don't really know exactly where it's going. But I like the main character. She's got some neat problems; she is really depressed by the weather for one. I think in the entire story it'll just rain. It's a bit of a cyberpunk tale, but I hope to avoid cliches. Nobody's wired into anything... yet. It'll disappoint Tine. She thought The Pyramid was the best of the bunch. And it does have the most solid plot, which is probably why it sounds good. I can tell it like it's a book I read or a movie I saw. But the characters are vague and require a bit of research that I don't have time to do right now. So in the interested of starting something, I'll settle on the cyberpunk. I've also decided to steal my sister-in-law's handle for the temp name right now; sethkyne_blue posted by Evil Wayne | 1:27 PM 0 comments |
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