Evil Wayne

Evil Wayne
my mental sieve...

Sunday, February 29, 2004

Leap Day

Hey, SciFi is having a Quantum Leap marathon of the best episodes. I used to really dig this show and it still holds up pretty well. Right now, I'm waiting for the episode where Sam and Al switch places, besides the series finale, I thought that was one of the better ones. The only sucky thing about it, is I'm unlikely to watch the whole thing and I've got a bad headache.

Finn has a head cold which makes him just a big snot factory. Bleech. He's full of phelm and when he lies down it he's a coughing snot factory. Last night sucked. He was up for long periods of time, coughing his brains out and crying. Which promotes more snot and that make him cough more and ...

You get the picture.

So I've got this headache that's from a lack of sleep. I've had to turn the brightness down on the screen here just to be able to see things without it sending a spike of pain through my forehead. Funky, but I'd sort of equate it to being hung over, but without any of the drinking, partying or other funtastic thing that get you a hangover.

Why did I want to be a parent again?

posted by Evil Wayne | 11:46 AM

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Saturday, February 28, 2004

in medias res

I'm working on other parts of the site, mostly the media part and then I'll move on to the word. I have to work around the boy, mostly, so it's sort of sporadic when things will funciton. Don't expect too much right now.

Passengers on the right will see a rearranged sidebar with some navigation links. If the links do not work, suck it up because I'm working on it. In the mean time, please enjoy some customized 404 messages.

Well, at least they're not those generic 404s.

posted by Evil Wayne | 2:14 PM

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Thursday, February 26, 2004

Tales From the Front

Yesterday something genuinely spooky happened.

I went outside to start the car before I leave. It gives a few minutes to warm up. One really nice feature of the new Marquis is this automatic temperature sensor. You set the temp you want, like 78 degrees and hit the Automatic button. Then, as the car starts to warm up, the blower comes on and either will heat up the car or cool it down, depending on the outside temp.

Nice.

The old car didn't do that, but it had a remote starter, so as long as I left the blower on and the temp up, when I started the car from the house, it would warm up on it's own. I've been meaning to get one for this car, because a remote starter will really spoil you. I mean, it's like TiVo (which I will not get into here), once you've had it, you really can't go back.

So, to compensate, I've been going out and starting the car and it takes me about 15 seconds.

I also have this other habit of disconnecting my house keys from my car keys.

I think it probably stems from this innate distrust for general humanity. I think, I've started my car and left it unlocked with the keys in it. If someone comes along and thinks they've just stumbled across a free, and warm car, then I certainly don't want them absconding with my house keys as well. It would be a big enough hassle working out the whole stolen car report, insurance nightmare (because you know they won't cover *that* mess) without having to worry about whether or not I need to change the locks on the house as well.

So, I leave the house keys on the table, right next to the cell phone because I grab them on my way out the door with the boy in tow.

It's a ritual, and it's stupid.

Piecing it together afterwards, I figure the boy followed me up the stairs a few seconds after me. I jumped out to start the car about 8 feet away. I actually didn't notice that he had come up, until I got back to the door, a whole 5 seconds later.

He must have come up the stairs and headed to the sunroom. The outside door, when fully open, blocks the way to the sunroom, so he did what he needed to do and moved the door.

This didn't actually close the door on me. No, that was saved for my own stupidity.

I noticed the door and it worried me at the moment, but I could see it wasn't completely closed. Then, because it was only a microsecond after that thought, I quickly opened the screen door to open the main door.

Nature abhors a vacuum. Did you know this? In this case, my own personal nature-hating, abhorrent vacuum was created when I rushed open the screen door. It sucked the air out of the threshold between the two doors and the pressure behind the main door slammed it shut.

My heart dropped.

I quickly tried the door and it was locked. Fuck! I wrestled with it, hoping that maybe it was just going to open, but it steadfastly refused to become a magical lock and open under my cursing.

I then employed the boy to try to open the door. Finn has managed to open some of the doors about the house. He reaches up and puts a hand over the top and then sort of uses the rest of his body to turn the lock in a weird dead-weighted pulley system. I got him to try, but the main door is heavier, the knob has to turn much further to open than he could move it.

I kept at, "Come on, boy, open the door. Let Daddy in. Come on boy, try harder."

He gave up. I tried to get him to operate the locking mechanism, one of those inner pinch pieces. He had no idea what I was talking about. He laughed and wandered off into the sunroom to play with the Fisher Price piano.

I was starting to panic. I had no keys and no phone to call Tine. I looked behind me. At least one of the neighbor's was home.

I had the boy in the window and he was trying to see why I was standing outside without a coat. At least the sun was coming out.

I tapped a few times on the window to get his attention and then I ran across the street. He was watching me the entire time, which was what I wanted. I rang the bell and Mary answered. I quickly explained and that I needed to use her phone.

She was oddly calm about the whole thing. Oh it happens, I thought I heard her say. Funky, now that I think about it. He's 2. She even commented on him only being two. That's really odd now that I think of it.

I called Tine's cell, but it was off. OFF?!? Criminey, why the hell do we have cell phones? I hung up and called her work and got her machine. I think I might have yelled.

"Get home, Finn locked me outside. He's inside. No keys, no phone. COME HOME."

I thanked Mary and ran back over to the boy in the window. He was still playing in the sunroom. Now the real problem is waiting for Tine to get to work and then hearing the message and getting her butt back home. I'm looking at a half hour. *Damnit*.

I tried to get the boy to open the door again. I had hoped that, in some way he would accidentally open it for me. He came over and gave it another try, but I could see he was losing interest in this game of twist the knob. I put my weight against the door just in case it popped open for a second. I wouldn't want to loose any chance of getting in, no matter how small.

He looked up at me with the "I Don't Want to Do This Anymore" and casually walked back into the sunroom. I tried to play with him at the window.

Suddenly, he looked up at me and said, "What's that?"

I looked around, "What?"

"What's that?" He repeated and he said something else. Then he pointed towards the downstairs. "Phone?" he said in his own way.

Crap, I thought, Tine's calling me on the phone. What the hell, didn't she hear me that I said I didn't have a phone? Then I thought that she probably only heard the I was locked out. Wait, that didn't make any sense. Why would I be able to answer the house phone? She must be confused and is calling to ... Actually, I have no idea why she would call.

Just come home, I think.

But now I have a slight other problem. Finn is still pointing downstairs. The phone has stopped ringing, but he still wants me to investigate the phone situation. He starts walking to the hallway.

"No, no Finn, Let's play up here, " I say. Repeatedly. "Come on, boy."

But he keeps moving to the stairs.

"Look!" I shout excitedly, and point to a place in the sunroom where he would have to go to see. "Look at that!"

He looks up at me, quizzically, "What?"

"Over there! Go see!"

He forgets the stairs and heads back to see whatever amazing thing I've discovered. He walks around a bit and then comes up to the side window, his hands up to his shoulders, palms out, "What?"

"Hey," I said. Then I step down and hide behind the curtain. He pulls the curtain away and I jump back. Now it's a game. And I move down the outside of the sunroom, trying to stay behind the curtains as he pulls them away to find me.

Great, I think. If she can get here soon, everything will be just fine. We do this for awhile. He goes off and plays with something and then comes back to the window every now and then.

At one point, he grabs the broom and starts sweeping. I'd rather he do something else, mostly because the broom is unwieldy for him, but I can't really do anything out here. My worry is if he falls or bumps himself I won't be able to pick him up.

Then he moves back towards the hallway. "No," I said sternly. And he looks at me and moves back into the sunroom. Then he drops the broom and walks back to the hallway. I move down to the window and tap on it until he comes over. And we play hide and seek with the curtains again.

Although I'm a little cold without my jacket, the sun is coming out from behind the houses. And this causes yet another problem. The sun is directly in Finn's face. Now he doesn't want to play by the window anymore. He pushes the curtain around a bit, but he done and he off again.

I try in vain to bring him back to the window. He moves to the hallway yet again, and I'm at the door. He wants to go downstairs. I implore him to try the door yet again, but he really, really doesn't want to. He stops at the very top of the stairs and edges forward, looking at me like he knows he shouldn't but if he keeps slinking, ever-so-slowly forward, I somehow might not notice.

There's a dilemma here. He's still up at the edge of the stairs. If try to forbid him, he'll continue to slink forward. But he's only keeping a baby half-eye on the edge. He's more focused on me telling him no. He could easily fall down the few stairs there are. But if I don't say anything, he'll be off downstairs where I can't see him at all.

I decide to stop telling him, no and see what he does.

Of course, he slowly works his way down the stairs. As he turns around and sits to climb down, I keep talking to him. Ask him to open the door again. But he starts giving me a very matter-of-a-factly "No." Like I'd asked him if he wasn't more fries or another drink. "No, I'm good."

He keeps looking back at me as he goes down. At the bottom of the stairs he stops and looks back. I ask him to come back up. Play up here with me.

He says something and waves an arm. Then he's gone.

Damnit! I keep trying the door and then I decide I'm going to have to break the window. I turn to go find a rock to smash one of the smaller panes and get my hand in there on the lock. As I literally turn, Tine comes flying around the corner. I kid you not. She whips into the driveway and I jaunt down to meet her as she almost vaults out of the car. I notice she doesn't even have her jacket on and she's clearly upset. She almost throws her keys at me and we both burst through the door and rush downstairs, calling the boy.

In the living room, he's on the edge of the couch, having turned the TV on and is watching PBS (I have no idea what). He looks at us and then points to the TV, again casually in a way that might say, hey, I found this really neat puppet show, you should check it out. I haven't a clue what he might have said or what Tine said. She runs to him and pull him up and hugs him as she starts to cry out of relief. She then tells me that she got into work, took her jacket off, heard the message and bolt out the door tell her coworker to call to tell me she's on her way. You're not really rational when you think there's real trouble. But it's okay, and I'm sure the boy has no idea it ever even happened now.

And there's no way I'm every going outside without my keys again.

posted by Evil Wayne | 1:04 PM

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Fixing This, Adding That

Okay, after fleshing out the problem with the archive (as in, it wasn't showing up), I think I've managed to put the whole blog onto the site now. For fun, I changed the pic from the minifig [1] to a more personal image. Originally it was much larger and showed the whole face, but I didn't really dig it all that much. Probably because it's really close to what my hair is going to look like in a few years and I'm starting to be bothered by all the grey damnit.

Because I've gone mad, when I was editing that image, I made up some small buttons or banners so if you'd like to link here, let me know and I'll supply you with a button. Not than anyone actually reads this stuff, but in my pre-delusional state, I think it's a neat idea. %O

It's just all part of the new fun going on around here.

[1] I believe you can still see the old image if you browse the archives).

posted by Evil Wayne | 12:07 AM

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Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Live on the New Sight

Whoo-hoo! This was much easier than I would have thought, actually. I figured it would be a royal bitch to figure out how to get this puppy posted to the domain, but it's all gone very smoothly. A few more updates, like the email and whatnot and I'll be good to go.

Now I can't wait to start writing a bit more and post some of that garbage. Not that you'd care, you pompus, self-centered bastard. In the coming months, I'll post some of the old writings I have as well as some newer stuff. I have artwork, mostly sketches that will make thier way to this place. And the occasional merging of the two. And the Lego page will migrate here as well.

I'm pretty excited about having my own place on the web now. Something that doesn't have to be supported with banners or have some screwy long web address to it. A home for writing, art and pics (epecially after geekshelf folded).

Groove on you crazy diamonds, you.

:D

posted by Evil Wayne | 10:04 PM

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Monday, February 23, 2004

Happiness is Mandatory, Citizen

Awesome news! Or it would be if I actually played the game.

Paranoia was one of those groovy concepts that, as a child, growing up in the Cold War 80's, just struck a cord with me. It was about a wacked society that emerged after an asteroid wiped out the surface world. Down inside Alpha Complex, clones lived and died under the guidance of an insane computer system that was working with ancient Civil Defense files. It thought the enemy were commies (there were none) and treason was around every corner. You played a clone usually tasked with some utterly insane and impossible task. Failure meant you were probably a commie and you were executed. Unless you managed to "expose" one of your teammates as being a commie, in which case they got executed and you got a promotion. And the executed clone's clone came on the scene. It was wacky satire.

Stay Alert and Keep Your Laser Handy.

I owned a lot of the materials for Paranoia; got a ton when WEG had a firesale right before they totally imploded, in fact, I think I'm only missing the Yellow Clearance Black Box Blues. By far, my favorite was the forms. I had an original copy of the forms pack which is full of carbon copy red-tape madness which came with a mini-adventure that a bureaucrat nightmare. And the DOA Sector Travel book was a ton of fun to read through. Of all the RPG games I owned, it's the one I wish I could have played. I sort of wish someone would make a card game or a video game based on it. That would rock.

Here's the Paranoia XP Blog

posted by Evil Wayne | 9:29 PM

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Sunday, February 22, 2004

"Teenagers are how the gods punish you for having sex."
-Wil Wheaton

posted by Evil Wayne | 7:31 PM

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Webward Bound

Okay, I�m not 100% sure why I�ve done this, but I have. I�ve gone registered a domain name for myself. Actually two.

I�m now the proud owner of both, evilwayne.com and puncducs.com. I�ll get into the ducs later, but for now, I�m going to move the whole sha-bang to to evilwayne.com. Pics, movies, this blog and some other writings I've been working on.

I�m excited and spooked at the same time. I mean, I plunk down some cash for it and it�s really a vanity thing. However, I�m really tired of having only minor control over some of the stuff I have spread out over the internet. Here I can put it all under one roof and have more control over it. Hell, now it�s all in one place for you to ignore.

I�ve found a webhost that looks decent, lunarpages. At this moment I�m just waiting for the domain name to register and propagate then I�ll actually sign up at lunarpages and that�ll take another 24 hours or so.

Basically, sometime this week, it�ll all go live. I've still got a ton of stuff to work on to make it happen, like figuring out a basic webeditor. I mean, I don't really know much HTML. Then uploading everything...

Then I can start worrying about the ducs.

*sigh*

posted by Evil Wayne | 7:18 PM

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Monday, February 09, 2004

JumpGate Game Weekend

NELUG participated in a games weekend in New Hampshire. We ran two BrikWars games in four hour slots in half of a gym and it was a total blast.

The first game was mainly run by Shaun. It was a tek level 2 game (medieval) called "It's Takes A Pillage..."

I had a ton of fun, even if I was paired up with one of the two kids who joined the game. This kid was probably 7 or 9 at the most, but he was very well behaved. And, except for the down time between turns (when he kept asking if it was our turn), he was excited and gun-ho to destroy the enemy. Heck, he had to keep reminding me that we had a unit searching one of the houses - I would have forgotten if it wasn't for him.

Shaun had a pretty groovy gold system where, you could collect it from searching chests and barrels (while looking for the Golden Key). But you could also kill civilians and rob the corpse for random 1d4 gold. That was neat. Plus, you could loot the corpses of the dead enemy. This actually took gold from the other team's Money Pool (which is the best way to run any economic system in a BrikWars game). The end was supposed to be a key to unlock a mountain which released a giant blue troll. I wish I had some pics of the troll, because it look awesome, but I don't. If and when some show up on Brickshelf, I'll post a message or something here. The real power in the game came from finding a chicken leg. The chicken leg would have let you control the troll and stop the town flat.

Overall, I though this was a really good game. With smaller squad, movement went quicker and the action was fast. Chris and I wiped out Jonathan's troopers pretty quickly. I think I lost only one guy the whole game (maybe two). I wouldn't mind playing this as a regular game just to see how it ends.

I can honestly say it's been the best TL2 game I've ever played [1]

The second game was the Tox Uthat, a TL6 game that was my basic design. Squads entering a space derelict in search of the Tox Uthat (it doesn't matter what it is, they just needed to find it). Make your way to the bridge and get the Uthat.

It was a modular game, and we had about 10 modules for players to search through that made up the ship.

In each module were containers and they yielded new weapons like Siege Pistols or useless items, like Space Twinkies. Amazingly, both the Siege Pistol and the Siege Rifle, two of the most powerful weapons in the game, were actually found. I used a d100 chart (2d10) to make container contents random. One of the non-NELUG players, James, found just about every useless item on the list. It was pretty funny (although Joe found the hairnets. That only would have been funnier if Shaun had found them...). I had added a hover security bot as a controllable item as well that I had high hopes for. It did get found, but the user got killed and the remote pad (a second way to control it) was never found. Boo-hoo.

Into this mix we also added Jorge's aliens and they were pretty neat. I know they ate two guys, I'm not sure what other damage they may have done. They scurried about and generally showed up at the worst times for the players.

My own squad got wiped out by Dan's use of the aforementioned siege weapons. Three guys pretty much vaporized in what was actually a miss. But 2d10 explosive damage in a confined space is nuts. You just don't miss. My last man decided to withdrawn and hide in a corner, weeping.

The cargo bay, in the center, was really the main battleground. There was tons of action in the center room (that's where I bought it, in a vain attempt to reach the transporter device). Although Wayne (no, the other one) managed to get a guy in there and teleported to the bridge. Of course his weapon and clothes didn't make it, so he had a nude minifig running around up there.

I had put a turn limit of 10 turns on this game almost as a gag. I mean, *no* BrikWars game ever goes 10 turns, right? Well, I think this one went 11 or 12, well after the ship should have been vaporized! But it wasn't really worth it to just stop the game because of some silly rule. In the end, two teams made it to the bridge, but the aliens were there too. The Uthat was retrieved, but we were getting really pressed for time. Most of the other gamers had cleaned up and headed out, so we just called a winner at that point and had the ship vaporized by the sun.

A Pyrrhic victory to be sure.

If you're really interested, I have a PDF file of the handout I had at the game. It contains just about everything including a lame BrikWars primer. It's at the bottom of this folder

[1] This being my third.

posted by Evil Wayne | 10:44 PM

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Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Mad World

Okay, I'm soooo freaking obsessed with this song right now. I've found this site that streams the video, but I don't really care about that; I can hear the damn song over and over and over until I puke!

I really can't wait to get my hands on this CD. It just screams for my own personal video collage; dark, sad and hopeless. It sounds so much like the thoughts of the depressed and the despaired. Haunting in a dark unyeilding way.

I'm digging it, but I've felt like that for at least the last, oh... decade.

Fuck.

posted by Evil Wayne | 12:35 AM

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